The Ever Elusive Strawberry Eater

We have a serious problem in our house.

Someone sneaks into our house, past the dog, past my husband and I, and past the kids… to take bites out of the strawberries in the fridge.

I have yet to catch this person.  The rumor in our house is that the person’s name is Not Me.  I have no confirmation of this yet, nor a description to give to the police.

I have been considering issuing an APB on Not Me.  Perhaps even having him or her highlighted on America’s Most Wanted.  But, I’m not sure the cops will talk to me.

So, we continue to buy strawberries and Not Me takes bites out of the bottom.  It’s so bad, we have to wash the strawberries when we bring them home– we don’t want Not Me to eat any pesticides. 

Not Me has gotten sly… he or she knows how to hide the half eaten strawberries in the carton so we don’t notice them right away. 

Right before Not Me makes an strikes, there is alot of giggling in the kitchen, then silence, then the refrigerator door shutting.  Then., the sound of pattering feet into the bathroom and obsessive hand-washing.  I just can’t figure it out… Not Me is still on the lam. 

Guard your strawberries.

When my kids are questioned– with the little spot light– they claim it’s “Not Me” and request a lawyer. 

I think they are guilty.

I think they are in on it.

I think its all part of the conspiracy.

One of these days– I am going to catch them red handed.


  1. Cindy Helms says:

    that is too cute!

  2. Anonymous says:

    Quite a few years ago we had a similar problem with an unsub in our neighborhood. Ours would break into the house and bury silverware in the backyard.

    Without success, we too went the usual route to apprehend this dangerous perpetrator.

    I am sure the m.o. of these two suspect are the same. No one sees the sneaky crime. No one has any knowledge of his or her whereabouts. We would only open up the silverware drawer to find out we had been hit again.

    Then a funny thing happened. This bizarre crime spree suddenly stopped. I think it was just about the time our children got older. Maybe the perp decided it was just too much risk anymore

    I hope you catch this criminal soon. The streets in Champaign (or at least our kitchens) have been ravaged enough!

    Give Morgan and Troy hugs and I hope your unsub at least leaves those two sweeties a few measly strawberries. That is not too much to ask.

    I have often wondered in about a hundred years if anyone ever excavates in our back yard what someone will think of all the buried treasures. Will they think it was a strange religious practice, will they think we hated forks or will they think of something more sinister?

    Good luck my friend. Don’t forget where I work. In fact write down my work number in case you need bac up, it’s 911.

  3. Anonymous says:


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